Safe, sound and only a couple of hours late KJ made it home last night. She had a great trip, and thanks to jet lag she made an 8:10 appearance downstairs this morning so that we could continue "debriefing." Just now she gave us our "travel presents" a cute doll set for Mom and an awesome new cap for Dad. It's great to have her home!
Our Ireland and Uganda interns arrived in good order as well. We will spend a half day reconnecting with them before they disperse. They were buzzing about the summer as I drove from the airport yesterday.
Meanwhile, Josh and Anne have been running a summer Bible week for their inner-city Ark kids. Yesterday he dropped a collage-like sign by the house for Nancy.
Paul's description of the triumphant process seems appropriate for days like yesterday!!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
up in the air!
At this moment KJ is up in the air between Milan and JFK as she heads back from Romania. All reports are that it was a great trip, but we can't wait for the face-to-face debrief.
Also, WHM interns are in the air as they return from Ireland and Africa. I will run to the Philadelphia airport today as we lead them through a brief debrief. I am currently working through some hiring issues for WHM's Mobilization team so right now lots of work stuff is up in the air.
We got Nancy's EKG results yesterday. No underlying serious caridio issues. Her accelerated heart rate seems tied to dehydration. So, at the moment she is hooked up to the home infusion unit absorbing saline. When can we get her heart to calm down? Will we do more chemo in a week or so? How has this month's treatments done in further chasing away the Unwelcome Visitor? Right now, those matters remain up in the air, too.
Also, WHM interns are in the air as they return from Ireland and Africa. I will run to the Philadelphia airport today as we lead them through a brief debrief. I am currently working through some hiring issues for WHM's Mobilization team so right now lots of work stuff is up in the air.
We got Nancy's EKG results yesterday. No underlying serious caridio issues. Her accelerated heart rate seems tied to dehydration. So, at the moment she is hooked up to the home infusion unit absorbing saline. When can we get her heart to calm down? Will we do more chemo in a week or so? How has this month's treatments done in further chasing away the Unwelcome Visitor? Right now, those matters remain up in the air, too.
So, can we remember that line from a popular old hymn of the church,
"On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, All other ground is shrinking sand?"
Such truth to keep us grounded on a day when lots of stuff flies around us.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Nancy can still write!
I appreciate Dan's faithfulness in keeping up with the blog. This in oneof the few days after chemo I can function and can tolerate our bichon dog jumping on me. (she is convinced the hospital bed in our living room was put there just for her)
Ok, sometime today I will have an EKG as my pulse has been high . My white blood count is low and I feel a little beat up at times. But I also know this drug has been working to kill off the tumors. We will findout more when I have a CAT scan next Monday the 28th. (mmmm love that barium :(
Karen Joy our 22 year old arrives home tomorrow from Romania. This will be quite a culture shock for her. Knowing how her brain works she will have wonderful stories plus creative ideas. She has already included me in one of her projects about cancer. Please pray for safe travel.
I just want to thank you all all the thousands of people around the world who pray for me and 0ur family. Please remember to pray for my doctor who makes wise decisions for my well being.
Ok, sometime today I will have an EKG as my pulse has been high . My white blood count is low and I feel a little beat up at times. But I also know this drug has been working to kill off the tumors. We will findout more when I have a CAT scan next Monday the 28th. (mmmm love that barium :(
Karen Joy our 22 year old arrives home tomorrow from Romania. This will be quite a culture shock for her. Knowing how her brain works she will have wonderful stories plus creative ideas. She has already included me in one of her projects about cancer. Please pray for safe travel.
I just want to thank you all all the thousands of people around the world who pray for me and 0ur family. Please remember to pray for my doctor who makes wise decisions for my well being.
Monday, July 21, 2008
heartbeats, blood counts and drumbeats
We proceeded with today's chemo as planned. But we adjusted the schedule a bit. We will do a Cat Scan a week from today, and then decide about a sixth round of the current regimen. As Dr. Nordlinger said today, "6 treatments are not a magic number. We will see what the tests show us and decide where to go from there."
Meanwhile, a couple of things to keep our eyes on:
Meanwhile, a couple of things to keep our eyes on:
- Nancy's heart is working a little hard. We will do an EKG to find out what that will show us. This is not a crisis issue, and didn't stop us from proceeding with today's treatment. But ask Him who has given her a new heart to slow the beating down some.
- Her white blood count is low, and we have to make sure she doesn't pick up any secondary illnesses. Ask HIM to keep her safe and well.
- Finally, she is pretty wiped out these days. She longs to have more energy. Ask HIM to renew her strength.
As for me, today I spent time spinning plates, running in and out of the office to plan budgets and interview a prospective hire, hanging out in the treatment room and running down new scripts. There was more than one "tilt moment," interspersed between some nano-seconds of gospel sanity when I remembered that we are just passing through this storm as we head for untold glory.
So, pray for us to endure, to continue that march to glory, while reflecting the hope of glory that issues the drumbeat for a long days' journey like today.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
All we have needed....
It's sometimes hard to know how to explain this journey. On the one hand, Nancy is breathing more easily, and uses very little pain medication, her blood pressure is back at a good level, and the additional fluids have helped keep her system running. On the other hand, she remains pretty weak, we had one day of nausea and her evening fever has popped up once or twice lately.
Tomorrow we are set for another round of chemo. This would be round 5 of 6 in this current regimen. But we will have to see what the blood readings tell us and whether Nancy and Dr. Nordlinger think we should proceed or wait a week or so. Nancy's desire is to press on and finish this round on August 4. Pray that we can proceed as planned!
We both long for stability. Each day brings uncertainty. Every part of the "natural Dan" is deeply disquieted by this maze. And so tonight I go to our new friend Aphonse Monod to remind me that we already have what we need. Through this morning's reading he reminded us that in Christ all things are mine
"Am I poor? All of the fortunes of this world are mine because they belong to Christ, who belongs to God...If in place of riches he gives me poverty, it is because it is better for me, and a result of God's choice. The entire world and all its glory and power belongs to me because they belong to my Father, who will give them to me tomorrow, and who could give them to me today if that were good , because he dispenses them according to his pleasure.
Am I sick? Health is mine, strength is mine, well-being is mine, a prefect enjoyment of all the good things of life is mine, because all that is Christ's, who is God's and who dispenses them according to his pleasure...If he then refuses them to me today, for a fleeting moment that passes like a ship in the midst, he has his reasons. It is because there are in these pains and this bitterness hidden blessings that are worth more to me than that health that is so precious and that well-being which is so sweet."
So, as we prepare for tomorrow's next step, we need grace to receive from the hand of Our Father that which he deems best.
Tomorrow we are set for another round of chemo. This would be round 5 of 6 in this current regimen. But we will have to see what the blood readings tell us and whether Nancy and Dr. Nordlinger think we should proceed or wait a week or so. Nancy's desire is to press on and finish this round on August 4. Pray that we can proceed as planned!
We both long for stability. Each day brings uncertainty. Every part of the "natural Dan" is deeply disquieted by this maze. And so tonight I go to our new friend Aphonse Monod to remind me that we already have what we need. Through this morning's reading he reminded us that in Christ all things are mine
"Am I poor? All of the fortunes of this world are mine because they belong to Christ, who belongs to God...If in place of riches he gives me poverty, it is because it is better for me, and a result of God's choice. The entire world and all its glory and power belongs to me because they belong to my Father, who will give them to me tomorrow, and who could give them to me today if that were good , because he dispenses them according to his pleasure.
Am I sick? Health is mine, strength is mine, well-being is mine, a prefect enjoyment of all the good things of life is mine, because all that is Christ's, who is God's and who dispenses them according to his pleasure...If he then refuses them to me today, for a fleeting moment that passes like a ship in the midst, he has his reasons. It is because there are in these pains and this bitterness hidden blessings that are worth more to me than that health that is so precious and that well-being which is so sweet."
So, as we prepare for tomorrow's next step, we need grace to receive from the hand of Our Father that which he deems best.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Hydration and Supplication
First of all, a quick update. Nancy has continued to brighten up the last two days. She is smiling, cracking jokes and moving around with a little bounce in her steps.
We learned a lot about the importance of keeping her hydrated the last week. Today we were able set up "home IVs" to our arsenal in this fight. An infusion nurse came to the house with the necessary stuff to allow us to administrator fluids in the comfort of our living room. Part of this involved our learning how to do this without a nurse present. She carefully guided me through the process of connecting the saline bag to Nancy's port. Later this afternoon with our dear friend Lynn cheering us on we disconnected the empty bag and safely closed Nancy's port.
I am thankful that we continue to find new bonding experiences even after 33 years of marriage. In fact, learning "home infusion" was the most complex medical procedure we have undertaken jointly since we did childbirth classes together before Leah was born. (BTW, pray that we can remember how to do this procedure the next time we infuse.)
Yesterday we had our second weekly prayer meeting here at our house. Each Tuesday at 4:30 PM we open the door for our friends to come and pray for us for 15 minutes. Already the time has been a wonderful blessing. If you are in the area please feel free to drop by.
We learned a lot about the importance of keeping her hydrated the last week. Today we were able set up "home IVs" to our arsenal in this fight. An infusion nurse came to the house with the necessary stuff to allow us to administrator fluids in the comfort of our living room. Part of this involved our learning how to do this without a nurse present. She carefully guided me through the process of connecting the saline bag to Nancy's port. Later this afternoon with our dear friend Lynn cheering us on we disconnected the empty bag and safely closed Nancy's port.
I am thankful that we continue to find new bonding experiences even after 33 years of marriage. In fact, learning "home infusion" was the most complex medical procedure we have undertaken jointly since we did childbirth classes together before Leah was born. (BTW, pray that we can remember how to do this procedure the next time we infuse.)
Yesterday we had our second weekly prayer meeting here at our house. Each Tuesday at 4:30 PM we open the door for our friends to come and pray for us for 15 minutes. Already the time has been a wonderful blessing. If you are in the area please feel free to drop by.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Good Test Results
Yesterday we learned that both Nancy's bone scan and brain MRI were negative, that is cancer free. This is good news for it indicates that the cancer has not spread beyond the liver area. Combine that with our earlier news that the cancerous areas there have shrunk and it feels safe to say that the spring crisis is over and now we are into managing the chronic state of metastatic breast cancer. We rejoice in this news
Now the journey enters a different phase. This is a phase of trial and error as we learn what we can and can't do, what does and does not work in managing the Unwelcome Visitor who remains lurking in the shadows. Just let me say quickly that I am still trying to make work "work" and I have to fight the tendency to hover or fret. How does HIS grace free me from such concerns as we continue this siege?
Meanwhile and most importantly, Nancy's chemo is a grueling regimen for her to endure. After a good few days, she bottomed out over this weekend; she became dehydrated and her blood pressure dropped. This was because the drugs unsettle her stomach, etc. Yesterday she got IV fluids which rejuvenated her. Now we are trying to set up the option of getting IV fluids at home between trips to Abington Hospital. This could help keep her strength up. We still have 2 more rounds of this drug. Pray that the side effects would lessen even as the chemo kills more of the cancer. And pray for August to bring a Chemo Holiday!
Speaking of prayer, I have been pondering a neglected aspect of prayer in my life. Some of you know that I have a loud voice and can prayer with some level of passion in public. It's a gift I suppose, even though it does sometimes seem to make me appear more pious than I am. But as I watch Nancy's quiet acceptance of what the hand of the Lord gives her each day, as we go through some days to tired and weak to formulate long prayers, I see another way of talking with My Father. My conversations with HIM should more often involve Receiving from Him rather than "instructing Him." Jesus' last prayer on the Cross was "Father into your hands I commend my spirit." In that moment he surrendered to the will and to the care of His Father. Perhaps that is the essence of the Spirit's work intervening for us with sighs too deep for words---a profound affirmation that we must yield to the care of Him who loves us and numbers each of our steps. Sometimes in prayer I can only say, "Dad, I give up, You get us through the next part of the journey. You know best anyway."
How freeing it can be to pray like that, letting go of the illusion of self-direction., trusting him to steer us through the bumpy seas and bring us safe to port.
Now the journey enters a different phase. This is a phase of trial and error as we learn what we can and can't do, what does and does not work in managing the Unwelcome Visitor who remains lurking in the shadows. Just let me say quickly that I am still trying to make work "work" and I have to fight the tendency to hover or fret. How does HIS grace free me from such concerns as we continue this siege?
Meanwhile and most importantly, Nancy's chemo is a grueling regimen for her to endure. After a good few days, she bottomed out over this weekend; she became dehydrated and her blood pressure dropped. This was because the drugs unsettle her stomach, etc. Yesterday she got IV fluids which rejuvenated her. Now we are trying to set up the option of getting IV fluids at home between trips to Abington Hospital. This could help keep her strength up. We still have 2 more rounds of this drug. Pray that the side effects would lessen even as the chemo kills more of the cancer. And pray for August to bring a Chemo Holiday!
Speaking of prayer, I have been pondering a neglected aspect of prayer in my life. Some of you know that I have a loud voice and can prayer with some level of passion in public. It's a gift I suppose, even though it does sometimes seem to make me appear more pious than I am. But as I watch Nancy's quiet acceptance of what the hand of the Lord gives her each day, as we go through some days to tired and weak to formulate long prayers, I see another way of talking with My Father. My conversations with HIM should more often involve Receiving from Him rather than "instructing Him." Jesus' last prayer on the Cross was "Father into your hands I commend my spirit." In that moment he surrendered to the will and to the care of His Father. Perhaps that is the essence of the Spirit's work intervening for us with sighs too deep for words---a profound affirmation that we must yield to the care of Him who loves us and numbers each of our steps. Sometimes in prayer I can only say, "Dad, I give up, You get us through the next part of the journey. You know best anyway."
How freeing it can be to pray like that, letting go of the illusion of self-direction., trusting him to steer us through the bumpy seas and bring us safe to port.
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